My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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