Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
