P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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