You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
