You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
