This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
