So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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