Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
