So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
love makes seman taste better
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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