They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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