hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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