ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
