I think my vagina is haunted
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
