im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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