i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
