i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
