Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
