therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I love having hate sex.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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