i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
