it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You're a waste of cheezeits
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
