I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
