$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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