Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
