Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
