I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We need to get me chipped asap
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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