Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
