So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
