there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
