Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
