in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
