another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
