is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
