I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my liver is dry heaving
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize