Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
