waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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