Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
