So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
