It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
