Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize