I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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