shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
