Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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