Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize