But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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