i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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