i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
