your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
