Got a toothbrush?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
