I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
