Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
