So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
