I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
