I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
