Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
