I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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