Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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