Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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