my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
