Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
