this beer tastes like vomit already
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
