dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
