Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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