it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
