At least make sure they are 18
Why
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize